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Why women should set relationship goals III

Almost everyone sets goals for things they do in life. If goals are good for everything else in life why not for relationships? Do women set goals for relationships? If you do, how successful have you been with it?

We have all seen women who have been in long term relationships with men and they are no closer to getting married years later than they were when they first entered the relationship. Why spend your youthful days on someone who has no intention of marrying you? People split up all the time and to waste five years on a man only for the two of you to break-up is crazy. That means for five long years you have been off the market and missed out on the chance to meet many single men whom would have loved nothing more that to have you as his wife and life mate. Unfortunately, you were tied up on a promise that never came. You know the promise, “Eventually, we will get married.” Hell, when? All those excuses about let us finish our degrees, wait until we have enough money saved, I am happy the way we are and my personal favorite, “Why should we get married, we have been together longer than our friends and now they are divorced?” All these are smokescreens for the real fact that he is not about to make the ultimate commitment.

Read more: Why women should set relationship goals III

Are you a side chick?

If you are a side chick who wants to keep up a relationship with a guy who has a main, then you have to know the rules of the game. You can’t expect the relationship to be more than what it is: a way for both of you to have a good time and not worry about where the relationship is going even though these days a side chick can be ‘wifed’. The moment you start questioning your status or ask for something more, all of the fun will be over. Nowadays, some men are very smart when it comes to women. They have girlfriends who think they are the “main chicks” but are actually the side-chicks. These men know how to patch their holes when needed, but it takes being extra smart and vigilant to catch the culprit before you fall into their trap. 

If your man is guilty of some of these things, chill babe you are a side chick.

Valentine’s Day: Some say Valentine’s Day is when you know if you are truly his main girlfriend. There is no way a guy who has two girlfriends would share an equal amount of time with them. He might send the side chick a gift at work if she is lucky, while he is away to avoid questions. When it is getting close to Valentine’s Day that is when he has an official trip. There is a reason why February 13 and 15 are known as ‘National Side Chick Days’. If he’s not seeing you on Valentine’s Day, you’re probably his other woman.

Read more: Are you a side chick?

How to deal with sibling rivalry II

Sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brother(s) and sister(s).  There is always going to be a little bit of jealousy between siblings, which is a normal part of the human nature, but when it turns into envy it brings out the worst in people. Sibling rivalry is like a festering wound and it endangers relationships to the point where we can’t bear the idea of our siblings being successful, or even happy, and instead take pleasure in their failures.

It usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents. As kids reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to one another, though many are lucky to become best of friends with their siblings. 

A household that is full of conflict is stressful for everyone. No matter how much we love our brother or sister, when sibling envy exists, it has a corrosive effect on our ability to express affection. Overt rivalry in childhood is upfront, dynamic and character-building, a necessary rite of passage that enables each child find their niche within the family, rivalry in adulthood is a stagnant, secretive emotion that finds its insidious expression in anger.

It is a difficult and sometimes painful issue for many families, but here is the bottom line, rivalry and jealousy are a normal part of life though if not properly managed the feelings of injustice, unfairness and victimhood that accompany sibling jealousy become even more crippling to contend with later on.

For parents

Read more: How to deal with sibling rivalry II

Are you in love with a serial cheat? III

Few things in life are as painful or confusing as finding out that your partner has been cheating on you. Well, not all men cheat though women generally believe that men were created with the tendency of being promiscuous and that it takes a real man to withstand the antics of some women who are anxiously scheming on how to latch onto them. 

If your man is just shagging a babe, do not worry, but if he starts making midnight calls, exchange text messages with another lady at odd hours and stays out of the house for days, weeks without a genuine excuse, then be very worried.

Most of us have heard these phrases countless times “Which man on the surface of the earth doesn’t cheat? This is Africa, all men cheat. It is a man’s world. A man will do one of three things; cheat, drink or smoke and a man likes to be adventurous, variety is the spice of life.’’ A man cheats because he knows he will most likely get away with it, because it is accepted. He cheats because society will hardly frown at it and because his reputation is not at stake. He cheats because in his mind his ego is boosted by doing so.  It is only when a woman cheats that there is brouhaha.

However, there are men who have embraced the ‘cheating lifestyle’. In our society today, it is has almost become a norm to cheat. Both men and women are guilty of this. There are basically three kinds of cheats, the serial cheat, the occasional cheat and those who stray once in a while. 

Serial cheaters are the kind of casanovas who jump from one relationship to the next, usually with some sort of overlap. Or they have multiple relationships at a time without telling their partners about the other girls. A serial cheat is very seductive, and charming. He/she has mastered the art of learning how to control his or her emotions, not get carried away by the moment, but instead treats the whole relationship like a project. A serial cheat has one of the best tools in communicating, he or she has mastered the art of listening. Listening and using your words or thoughts into an advantage for himself. So if you’re dating a Lothario, you are probably in for some heartbreak, not to mention STDs. So here is what to look out for:

Read more: Are you in love with a serial cheat? III

Why women should set relationship goals II

Almost everyone sets goals for things they do in life. If goals are good for everything else in life why not for relationships? Do women set goals for relationships? If you do, how successful have you been with it?

We have all seen women who have been in long term relationships with men and they are no closer to getting married years later than they were when they first entered the relationship. Why spend your youthful days on someone who has no intention of marrying you? People split up all the time and to waste five years on a man only for the two of you to break-up is crazy. That means for five long years you have been off the market and missed out on the chance to meet many single men whom would have loved nothing more that to have you as his wife and life mate. Unfortunately, you were tied up on a promise that never came. You know the promise, “Eventually, we will get married.” Hell, when? All those excuses about let us finish our degrees, wait until we have enough money saved, I am happy the way we are and my personal favorite, “Why should we get married, we have been together longer than our friends and now they are divorced?” All these are smokescreens for the real fact that he is not about to make the ultimate commitment.

Determine how long you should stay with a person before you know if he is marriage material or not. (Remember this is short term, so typically it should be six months to a year). Why do you need a long term relationship to get married? We can look at this from two different perspectives, some say you should be with someone for several years before getting married, I don’t think so, I think a year, possibly two is a good time.

Read more: Why women should set relationship goals II

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